I remember when I was a youth (or yout for you Cousin Vinny fans), I was super awkward. I don’t mean in that “yeah everything thinks they were awkward but really its just a phase” awkward, I mean I was certifiably awkward. Award-winningly awkward. Bad perm awkward. Braces awkward. I didn’t feel like I fit in anywhere. I was told that the best was yet to come and that someday I would go from being this awkward kid to a completely bad ass adult. As if there was a promised land for the tragically unhip, an earth that only the awkward would inherit. As if I would wake up in my mid-thirties and all my insecurities would be gone.
Well, here i am…on the cusp of leaving my mid-thirties for the dreaded “late thirties” and I still feel freaking awkward. How is that even possible. No perm. No braces. No bad skin…but still tragically unhip and still wondering where I fit. It’s taken me this long to fully understand and embrace that awkwardness…at least my brand of it is a life long condition, manageable, perhaps…but chronic.
Not a complaint. Just an observation. A realization. And an acknowledgment.